Rebekah's Sibling Torture Story

I am one of those unfortunate people whose sister is not a marvelously wonderful person. Over the years I have learned to tolerate her. However, when we were young, there was no love lost between myself and my sister, Rachel.

Rachel was and is one of those people who thinks much higher of herself than she actually deserves. The family referred to her as "Queen Bee" because she was certain that the world revolved around her. Rachel siezed every opportunity to put me down in front of the family. She jumped on every chance to deflect blame from herself onto me. She went out of her way to make the our parents think she was angelic and I was rotten.

So I lived in this world where nothing I did was good enough for my parents because, somehow, I wasn't my sister. You can see why I lost that lovin' feelin' for my only sister. Of course, from time to time, I would make things worse for myself. I didn't realize at time that I was only hurting myself. It's a darned good thing that the laughs I got at my sister's expense were worth the trouble I earned.

Just how did I manage to get so many laughs at Rachel's expense? Well, my sister is a scared-y cat when it comes to all things creepy or crawly. Rachel was afraid of crickets, mice, snakes, frogs, worms...you get the picture. It was a worm that gave me the biggest laugh and got me into the most trouble.

Ironically, that one worm wasn't even real. Nope. It was a purple fishing worm, one that didn't have a hook in it. My brother and the kid across the street (Critter), had played with that worm all of the previous summer. Somehow, in the fall, the worm had become lost. No biggie. Little kids have short memories and Randy was only about 5 years old at the time. I was 11 and Rachel was 9.

That next spring, on one of the first warm days of March, I went and sat on the stoop outside our front door. As I sat soaking up the sun and enjoying warmth, I spied something in the dirt patch that would soon become my mother's periwinkle bed. It was the worm. I remembered how much fun Randy and Critter had had with that silly thing. I picked up the worm, shook off most of the dirt, and took it inside to show my sister.

My sister was in our bedroom, lying on her stomach on the bed reading a book. With nothing more on my mind than sharing sentimentality, I said to my sister, "Look at what I found." Being the prissy, nasty person that she is, Rachel snippily replied that she didn't care. Then she told me to leave her alone. How rude! Here I was trying to be nice to her and she totally burnt that olive branch.

So, I walked around the bed to where she lay and leaned over her shoulder. I asked her what she was reading. She told me it was none of my business and repeated her demand that I leave her alone. That was too much for me. My streak of kindness ended and at that very moment it dawned on me that my cranky, nasty, mean little sister was wearing a sundress. Not just any sundress, mind you. It was a sundress with the entire upper bodice smocked with elastic.

Without giving a thought to the consequences, I gingerly lifted the back of her smocked sundress, carefully placed the worm on her back, and then gently lowered the garment to its rightful place. The worm now rested right between her shoulder blades. Snippy Rachel asked, "What's that?" I told her it was nothing. She said that she knew I'd put something in her dress and demanded to know what it was.

Now, my mind had it all ready to say, "Oh, just the worm Randy and Critter played with all last summer." My mind never got a chance to finish. My mouth only got as far as, "Oh, just the worm" and my sister was straight up off that bed like something out of a Warner Brother cartoon. She let out a howl piercing enough to frighten a banshee. Then she began to jump and gyrate and dance as she attempted to shake the worm from her dress. Poor worm. It was solidly wedged between her shoulder blades and that elastic smocking. It wasn't going anywhere.

Being a good sister, I tried several times to get across the message that it was a fake worm. I would say, "It's faaaaaaaa" and then literally fall down onto the floor with laughter. I couldn't stand up because I was laughing so hard. The more I laughed, the more my sister danced and screamed. I would compose myself, stand, and say, "It's faaaaaa" and then fall down in another fit of laughter. I was beginning to laugh so hard that I couldn't breath.

Of course, my sister's screaming convinced my parents that she was being attacked by killer bees or something. (Rachel had that ability. She could over-react to anything enough to make you think she had one foot in the grave.) By that point, I had managed to crawl to the beedroom doorway and my sister had gone from dancing around the room to dancing around the hallway. My parents looked at her, looked at me, and immediately knew that my sister was fine and I was somehow to blame for Rachel's condition. She was able to scream, "WORM!" and I was able to say, "FAKE!" and as suddenly as it started, it ended.

I got a talking to about taking advantage of my sister's phobias. I was quick to point out that I really had intended to be nice to her but she just wouldn't be nice to me. My sister got a mild lecture on being nice. In the end, I think she got the better end of things. Not only was her lecture almost non-existent, I never bothered her with another creepy or crawly.

On my end, I got an ear full from my mother and my sister went on being a pain in the rump. However, for that one brief moment, nothing else existed but my crazy sister who was getting exactly what she deserved. I have never laughed so hard in my life. So, despite the continued nastiness and lecture, I would have to say, it was worth it!