Sibling Torture Story
I am one of
those unfortunate people whose sister is not a
marvelously wonderful person. Over the years I have learned to tolerate
her. However, when we were young, there was no love lost between myself
and my sister, Rachel.
Rachel was and
is one of those people who thinks much higher of
herself than she actually deserves. The family referred to her as
"Queen Bee" because she was certain that the world revolved around her.
Rachel siezed every opportunity to put me down in front of the family.
She jumped on every chance to deflect blame from herself onto me. She
went out of her way to make the our parents think she was angelic and I
So I lived in
this world where nothing I did was good enough for my
parents because, somehow, I wasn't my sister. You can see why I lost
that lovin' feelin' for my only sister. Of course, from time to time, I
would make things worse for myself. I didn't realize at time that I was
only hurting myself. It's a darned good thing that the laughs I got at
my sister's expense were worth the trouble I earned.
Just how did I
manage to get so many laughs at Rachel's expense?
Well, my sister is a scared-y cat when it comes to all things creepy or
crawly. Rachel was afraid of crickets, mice, snakes, frogs, worms...you
get the picture. It was a worm that gave me the biggest laugh and got
me into the most trouble.
that one worm wasn't even real. Nope. It was a purple
fishing worm, one that didn't have a hook in it. My brother and the kid
across the street (Critter), had played with that worm all of the
previous summer. Somehow, in the fall, the worm had become
biggie. Little kids have short memories and Randy was only about 5
years old at the time. I was 11 and Rachel was 9.
spring, on one of the first warm days of March, I went and
sat on the stoop outside our front door. As I sat soaking up the sun
and enjoying warmth, I spied something in the dirt patch that would
soon become my mother's periwinkle bed. It was the worm.
remembered how much fun Randy and Critter had had with that silly
thing. I picked up the worm, shook off most of the dirt, and took it
inside to show my sister.
My sister was
in our bedroom, lying on her stomach on the bed
reading a book. With nothing more on my mind than sharing
sentimentality, I said to my sister, "Look at what I found." Being the
prissy, nasty person that she is, Rachel snippily replied that she
didn't care. Then she told me to leave her alone. How rude! Here I was
trying to be nice to her and she totally burnt that olive branch.
So, I walked
around the bed to where she lay and leaned over her
shoulder. I asked her what she was reading. She told me it was none of
my business and repeated her demand that I leave her alone. That was
too much for me. My streak of kindness ended and at that very moment it
dawned on me that my cranky, nasty, mean little sister was wearing a
sundress. Not just any sundress, mind you. It was a sundress with the
entire upper bodice smocked with elastic.
a thought to the consequences, I gingerly lifted the
back of her smocked sundress, carefully placed the worm
back, and then gently lowered the garment to its rightful place. The
worm now rested right between her shoulder blades. Snippy Rachel asked,
"What's that?" I told her it was nothing. She said that she knew I'd
put something in her dress and demanded to know what it was.
Now, my mind
had it all ready to say, "Oh, just the worm Randy and
Critter played with all last summer." My mind never got a chance to
finish. My mouth only got as far as, "Oh, just the worm" and my sister
was straight up off that bed like something out of a Warner Brother
cartoon. She let out a howl piercing enough to frighten a banshee. Then
she began to jump and gyrate and dance as she attempted to shake the
worm from her dress. Poor worm. It was solidly wedged between her
shoulder blades and that elastic smocking. It wasn't going anywhere.
Being a good
sister, I tried several times to get across the message
that it was a fake worm. I would say, "It's
faaaaaaaa" and then
literally fall down onto the floor with laughter. I couldn't stand up
because I was laughing so hard. The more I laughed, the more my sister
danced and screamed. I would compose myself, stand, and say, "It's
faaaaaa" and then fall down in another fit of laughter. I was beginning
to laugh so hard that I couldn't breath.
Of course, my
sister's screaming convinced my parents that she was
being attacked by killer bees or something. (Rachel had that ability.
She could over-react to anything enough to make you think she had one
foot in the grave.) By that point, I had managed to crawl to the
beedroom doorway and my sister had gone from dancing around the room to
dancing around the hallway. My parents looked at her,
looked at me, and
immediately knew that my sister was fine and I was somehow to blame for
Rachel's condition. She was able to scream, "WORM!" and I was able to
say, "FAKE!" and as suddenly as it started, it ended.
I got a
talking to about taking advantage of my sister's phobias. I
was quick to point out that I really had intended to be nice to her but
she just wouldn't be nice to me. My sister got a mild lecture on being
nice. In the end, I think she got the better end of things. Not only
was her lecture almost non-existent, I never bothered her with another
creepy or crawly.
On my end, I got an ear full
from my mother and my sister went on
being a pain in the rump. However, for that one brief moment, nothing
else existed but my crazy sister who was getting exactly what she
deserved. I have never laughed so hard in my life. So, despite the
continued nastiness and lecture, I would have to say, it was worth it!